Wry Vita

Guest Post - "I Deserve Better"

From the pen of Annie Kaszina of Joyful Coaching :

Have you ever said those words to a partner or to yourself?  I certainly had.  It’s the first step towards truly realising that the ill treatment you have experienced is not a reflection of your value.

But that is all it is: a first step.

This week a woman spoke up in one of my workshops and said she was coming to terms with the break-up of her latest relationship.  It hadn’t been as bad as previous relationships, she said.  There had been no physical violence.  But she had found herself emotionally ‘carrying’ this man. Over time the burden had become heavier and heavier. 

And then, her face contorting with the difficulty of actually speaking the words, she added tremulously: “It sounds awful to say it, I know, but I deserve better.”  Then she stopped expectantly, almost as if she was waiting for the sky to fall down on her, or the other women to hiss or throw their paper coffee cups at her. 

The Woman You Want To Be

Annie Kaszina is one of my fellow Money Gym coaches but what we also have in common is a dry and intelligent wit <ha!  you can say what you like on your own blog!> and the experience of living with an abusive partner.

Annie writes - compassionately and humorously - a very good ezine called The Woman You Want To Be which you can subscribe to by visiting her Joyful Coaching website.  In this week's issue she has included a poem sent in by one of her readers which touched a chord with me.  It's called "Because" by T D Jakes and I reproduce it for you below.  Hope you will enjoy it.

We're Not Afraid

This website - www.werenotafraid.com - was set up in the wake of the London terrorist attacks on 7th July, just one month ago and is full to bursting with photos that people around the world have sent in to metaphorically stick two fingers up at the bullies and show we can't be cowed that easily.

And even if underneath the bravado we worry about the safety of the people we love and wonder about the dangers we might inadvertently be facing tomorrow, this powerful affirmation encourages us to 'act as if' and increases our belief that we can simply get on with our lives as we did before.

I'm just wondering what image of my life would best demonstrate that I don't give two figs about their violent tactics.  Me on the bouncy-bouncy?  Jake's birthday football match in the rain?  Sitting by the river with a friend on a sun-lit day, laughing our socks off?

What image from your life sums it up for you - We're Not Afraid?